Birthday Goals

Ryan over at Single-ish recently asked, “do you make birthday goals?” Birthdays are always a time to reflect, but turning thirty has really made me stop and think about the state of my life. There are a lot of things that I would like to change, so perhaps this is the year when I should set goals for December 10, 2009. Though my birthday was a few weeks ago, it’s never too late to set some goals.

Right now I am working as a waitress, single, and renting a room in a house in Brooklyn. My life isn’t exactly perfect, but I should cut myself some slack. Coming back from a year abroad involves two major stressors: finding a job and a place to live. I am doing all that while simultaneously dealing with the end of a five-year relationship. All things considered, I am doing OK, but this is not the life I want.

After several suffocating desk jobs and a year of traveling, I wasn’t ready to rejoin the corporate world, so I got a job at a restaurant. But now that I have been working evenings for the past six weeks, I see the flaw in my plan. I never see my friends, and I am lonely. This loneliness has been a greater motivation for me to get a different job than money or ambition. I’ve learned that settling for the first job that comes along can be the quickest path to misery, so I am going to be very selective about the employment I take, even in this economy. Ideally I would like to work as a producer for an entertainment or lifestyle website, or pay the bills by proofreading and doing a bit of freelance writing. Universe, this is what I want; now I could use some help.

I recently broke off my engagement, so now I am single by choice. When I got back to New York City after a year of traveling with my fiancé, I went on a few dates simply for the novelty of it. Consciously I knew that I should be single for a while, but subconsciously I was seeking the steady companionship of a long relationship. Eventually I realized that the rest of my life was in disarray, and that the energy I was using on dating needed to be shifted to finding a better job and spending more time with my friends. Someday I hope to find someone who is worth ending my dating hiatus.

I came back from my trip several thousand dollars in credit card debt, hence why I am renting a small room in a house. I miss having an apartment with a living room, but as long as this debt is hanging over my head, I can’t move. In the past I would have used the ostrich method of financial management: to bury my head in the sand. Now I am tracking my expenditures, opening all my financial statements and bills, and actually reading them. Last month I caught two errors that saved me almost $40. Every spare penny is going to pay off my debt.

December 10, 2009 will be a great day. I can see it already. I’ll be gainfully employed in a job that I love, happily single or not, surrounded by great friends, and free of credit card debt. It’s up to me to make it happen.