Entries Tagged 'Skip It' ↓

Video games sure have gotten better graphics since the days when I played Legend of Zelda on my 8-bit Nintendo. The trailer for the new Harry Potter video game made me want to run out and buy the game and a system to play it on. While movies make great video games, do I really want to see a movie that looks like it should come with a game controller?

Beowulf, the new movie from director Robert Zemeckis, is completely animated and it looks like a video game. Zemeckis is known for his work with special effects and animation (The Polar Express, Cast Away, Forrest Gump, Contact), but this time he may have gone too far. It’s obvious that Angelina Jolie is in the movie, but can you spot John Malkovich? Animation this realistic works in video games and in children’s movies such as The Polar Express, but here it is just too jarring. Plus, does anyone really want to see a movie based on a book that no one bothered reading in high school? SKIP IT.

Beowulf is not yet rated and opens on November 16. (official site)

Ah, Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay, why do you keep making movies that look like they stink? Why? Unlike your (ex?) buddy Paris, you can’t get away with making crappy movies because people know you’re actually talented.

I mean, come on, who didn’t like Mean Girls? Freaky Friday was a gem of a remake. The best part of A Prairie Home Companion was your song at the end. Aside from those movies, you’ve taken some awful career advice lately. It turns out that you cannot open a movie on your own unless it actually has a good script. People can smell “Lindsay Lohan” vehicles coming from a mile away. And boy does I Know Who Killed Me reek. (That is, unless your fans just want to see you as a stripper. That’s right folks, Lilo goes pole dancing in I Know Who Killed Me.)

So, please, Linds, hole yourself up in Vancouver and make an independent ensemble movie for no money. Or star in a big-budget musical adaptation of a Broadway smash. (If Spring Awakening gets made in the next two years, you’ll still be young enough to play the female lead.) You could still become your generation’s Jodie Foster if you play the cards right.

I Know Who Killed Me is rated R and opens on July 27. SKIP IT. (Official site)

The Nanny Diaries was originally scheduled to open this weekend, but instead MGM decided to move the movie to September to better position it for the Golden Globes. What’s left to open this weekend? A bunch of movies aimed at guys and one really awful chick flick.

Fracture: As Tal wrote back in February: Hopkins and Gosling? ‘Nuff said. Anthony Hopkins is accused of murdering his wife and Ryan Gosling is the hotshot District Attorney sent to put him away. Gosling’s character discovers that the case isn’t as open-and-shut as he’d thought, and then things start to get interesting. Ryan Gosling’s career is on fire right now, and you can’t go wrong with Hopkins’ chilling stare. SEE IT.

Hot Fuzz: Did you ever notice how when an English person says something funny, it’s even funnier? Hot Fuzz would be funny set in any country, but add British humor to the mix and it looks downright hilarious. A big city cop is reassigned to Podunk, UK, and he must lead the small town cops. There is something fishy about this town, though, and City Slicker cop sets out to investigate. As the trailer says, this one is “brought to you by the guys who watched every action movie ever made.” RENT IT.

In the Land of Women: The official site for this film is myspace.com/itlow, and that’s just stupid. Really. First off, not every film is meant to be promoted on MySpace. Secondly, itlow? (I get that it’s an acronym, but itlow is still lame-o.) That was the best they could come up with? Anyhoo, In the Land of Women stars Seth Cohen, oops, I mean Adam Brody, as a dumped guy who somehow meets Meg Ryan and starts dating her young daughter, played by Kristen Stewart of Panic Room. With a title like that, the film is obviously aiming at women. As a woman, I say yuck–and I love a good chick flick. SKIP IT.

Vacancy: I’ll admit that I really don’t like horror films, so it is hard for me to be impartial here. Luke Wilson and Kate Beckinsale that are stranded and check into a motel for the night, and then realize that all the room’s previous occupants have died horrible deaths. It seems like these two bonafide movie stars have wandered into a movie that should be starring Chad Michael Murray and Sarah Michelle Gellar. SKIP IT.

Disturbia: I am generally not a fan of thrillers or horror movies, but this one looks interesting. Shia LeBeouf is under house arrest, so he spies on his neighbors from his bedroom window. When he becomes convinced that he is watching a murderer, he and his friends take the investigation into their own hands. It’s a teenage Rear Window. RENT IT.

Perfect Strangers: Halle Berry and Bruce Willis are playing cat-and-mouse in this predictable thriller. $11 bucks says they are only in it for the easy paychecks and the movie will tank. SKIP IT.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters: Fans of the Adult Swim cartoon on the Cartoon Network will be running to SEE IT. The rest of us aren’t as sold. Ryan has already bought his ticket for the 10pm show in Williamsburg.

Lonely Hearts: File this one under “why don’t more people know about this movie?” After all the movie has a great cast, and it is based on true events. Jared Leto and Salma Hayek play the “Lonely Hearts” killers, who got their name by luring their victims via the personal ads. John Travolta and James Gandolfini play the detectives who are hot on their case. The trailer looks intriguing, but the lack of a big distributor could be a bad sign. RENT IT.

Year of the Dog: Rachel saw this one so you don’t have to. Molly Shannon stars as a lonely dog lover in the new film from Mike White, who wrote The Good Girl and The School of Rock. John C. Reilly, Peter Sarsgaard, Regina King, and Laura Dern round out the cast. Although the trailer looked promising, the movie is a dud. SKIP IT.

Even though the new movies aren’t the best bunch we’ve seen in a while, there are still some good films in theatres. Blades of Glory is as funny as you’ve heard it is, The Namesake is a true work of art, and The Lookout has received some major kudos from our friends at Oscarwatch. SEE IT!

The weekend box office will probably once again be dominated by 300, but there are some new entrants in the race.

Tops on my agenda is Reign Over Me, starring Adam Sandler as a man destroyed by the loss of his family on 9/11, and Don Cheadle as his former college roommate who helps him attempt to deal with the pain. Sandler blew me away in the trailer, and I daresay that he could generate some award buzz. According to IMDb, Reign Over Me was slated for a December 1 release, but Sony bumped it in favor of The Holiday, costing Sandler a potential Oscar nod. (Perhaps the studio thought Sandler’s Oscar chances would be better this year, without Forest Whitaker dominating the category.) Don Cheadle is always amazing, but I can’t wait to SEE IT for Adam Sandler’s performance. (Official Site)

Shooter is Mark Wahlberg’s first outing since his Oscar nominated performance in The Departed. Wahlberg plays a secret service agent who is framed for an assassination attempt and then (dum, dum, dum!) wants vengeance on his enemy. Shooter is directed by Antoine Fuqua, who has hasn’t had a hit since Training Day in 2001. I doubt that Shooter has as good as a script as Training Day, so I’m going to SKIP IT. (Official Site)

Pride has quite possibly the lamest movie poster that I’ve seen in quite some time. Seriously. I walk by the poster every morning on the way to the subway, and it just makes the movie look so horribly cheesy. Terrence Howard and Bernie Mac star in this story of an underdog, all-black swim team in the 1970s, though the poster made me think it was about boxers. Terrence Howard has had his pick of scripts since Crash and Hustle & Flow, but I can’t give him the benefit of the doubt on this one. SKIP IT. (Official Site)

Color Me Kubrick is the mildly intriguing story of a con man who poses as Stanley Kubrick during the filming of Eyes Wide Shut. John Malkovich plays “Mr. Kubrick” and the trailer may give away the film’s funniest moment. When starstruck fans ask who “Kubrick” has in mind for his next film, he answers “John Malkovich,” to which they all reply, “who?” If you’re a big Kubrick fan, you may want to RENT IT. (Official Site)

Also opening this weekend are TMNT, the animated Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, and slasher sequel The Hills Have Eyes 2. SKIP IT and SKIP IT.

I’m just biased. I want Reign Over Me to reign at the box office.

It’s St. Patty’s Day weekend, so will people really be going to the movies? It doesn’t look good for these new releases.

I Think I Love My Wife: aka, Chris Rock has the seven-year-itch and tooth caps that have gotten out of control. Rock plays a man who has grown tired of his family life in the ‘burbs and he starts hanging out with a hoochified Kerry Washington. (That’s right, I said hoochified.) Louie C.K. (of the late Lucky Louie) wrote the script along with Rock, who also directs. I’m not sold on this, so I may RENT IT. (Official Site)

Premonition: Sandra Bullock plays a woman who thinks she’s losing her marbles. One day her husband has died; the next day he is alive. Rinse and repeat. Jen says RENT IT, but only to see yummy Julian McMahon of Nip/Tuck. (Official Site)

Dead Silence: Donnie Wahlberg and Amber Valetta are stuck in a horror film about a ventriloquist’s doll. Yawn. SKIP IT. (Official Site)

Want my advice? Go see 300 or The Namesake instead.

In 1999, Sean Penn said, “Nic Cage is no longer an actor. He’s more like a performer.” Ouch. Those were some harsh words from Penn for his former Fast Times at Ridgemont High co-star. Penn was reacting to Cage’s roles in movies like Con Air, and eight years later, the remark is as true as ever.

Nicolas Cage, I like you. I really do. Moonstruck is one of my all-time favorite movies. And who (besides Sean Penn) didn’t love Face/Off? I’ve never sat down to watch Leaving Las Vegas, but you won an Oscar for it, so you must have been good. So why, oh why, are you signing up for drivel like Ghost Rider?

I bet your agent called and said, “Nic, have I got a script for you. You’ll be playing a man who has sold his soul to the devil, and at night, you turn into a flaming skeleton on a motorcycle!”

Obviously I’m going to say SKIP IT to Ghost Rider. Wake me when Nicolas Cage gets back to making good movies.

Ghost Rider is rated PG-13 and opens on February 16. (Official site)

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January means good news and bad news for moviegoers. The bad news is that studios typically release nothing but drivel in January. The good news is that the studios released their best films in December in time for Oscar consideration, and now those films are opening in more theatres.

The Hitcher: Don’t pick up strangers, people. SKIP IT. (Official site)

The Last King of Scotland: Want to win your Oscar pool? Pick Forest Whitaker to win Best Actor. SEE IT. Full review is below.

The Italian: A six-year-old Russian orphan has the chance to be adopted by an Italian couple, but instead he goes off on his own to find his mother. Foreign films that make it to US shores are usually the cream of the crop, and The Italian looks like no exception. This will probably only play in a handful of theatres, so I will definitely RENT IT. (Official site)

The Good German: George Clooney and Cate Blanchett are two of my favorite actors, but I could not get into this trailer. Reviews have not been good. SKIP IT. (Official site)